2/3/2018 The Conservative NHL and Mooterus Culture

There is nothing wrong with the Mooterus.

I know what you’re going to say, but I don’t care. It’s in the URL. I announced that this was a safe space in the very first thing I wrote. The Mooterus, the Executive Board of Directors of The Mooterati, all donors, all intellectual supporters of the Mooterus, The Mooterus Appreciation Society, Mooterus Historical Society, and all those who support our cause are welcome here.

Many find the Mooterus to be aesthetic anthrax. I’m not here to convince those people that the Stars need to have red in their color scheme or that they should have a giant bull for a crest. A bull makes as much sense as The Big Dipper anyway. When is the last time you saw a bull in Dallas anyway? The Stockyards are in Fort Worth.

Honestly if you want a constellation I’ll draw a bunch of scribbly-ass lines on a document in MS Paint and we can have an NHL Rorschach Test jersey for the next Stars third jersey. The pictures are made up and make no sense anyway.

The Mooterus is simply fun. Third jerseys are supposed to be fun. Sports in general are supposed to be fun. Yeah, the Mooterus is funny because it looks like a female reproductive system, but that adds to the charm.

The NHL is largely the sport of middle to upper class whites with a more conservative lean the higher the age goes up which causes an internal conflict with the need to attract as many young fans as possible. No one under 25, maybe under 30, wants to watch Bryan Adams, Billy Idol, Goo Goo Dolls, or KISS perform. Yet, these are just some of the recent examples of performers the NHL has hired for their marquee events.

When the NHL actually tries to be progressive people lose their shit and they retreat back into a cave of conservative boring presentation. The initial third jerseys got kid me interested. I loved the flaming horse’s head in Calgary. The Burger King jersey still makes me laugh. Who doesn’t enjoy the tacky as all hell Blues jersey? Or the Gorton’s Fish Stick jersey?

I still remember watching the NHL Draft the first time I saw that Flames jersey to this day. I thought it was so cool as a kid. How often do you remember where you were the first time you saw a jersey?

My biggest gripe with the NHL is that collectively they take themselves too seriously. They have a stuffy image they want to uphold. The last two years they’ve tried to be more “new age” with their All Star game jerseys. Of course they were ugly. They weren’t targeting you, the person seeking out an unread blog on a small corner of the internet. They were targeting kids. Kids love tacky and bright things.

The Mooterus is shunned in much the same way. I’m not saying it needs to be a regular jersey or worn during any game, but shunning it does nothing to get rid it. The Mooterus is history. No matter if the Stars move to Mexico City and drape themselves in red, green, and white they will always have the Mooterus in their history. They may as well embrace it.

This petition is on the first page of Google when you search Mooterus. You should sign it.


Hey, click this

2/2/18 – A New Hope


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